A New Normal...

I don't know if you paid any attention but I was featured in a "gallery" for CNN Money.  Here's my 15 Minutes of Fame. 

Anyway, the whole point of the article is that I, and many other people, are essentially "worse off than our parents."  

I don't regret putting what I think out there. When in the world have I ever had a problem telling people what I think?  Short answer--never.

But after the article was posted--it really got me thinking.  How would people perceive my thoughts? I had no real say in what exactly was written--I was just interviewed.  I had no opportunity to insert a disclaimer or a "but", if you will.

I realized that if you read that article without actually having a clue who I am that I sound really ungrateful.  If I'm honest with myself then I can say that maybe for a little while now I have been ungrateful.

I was so angry that my decisions didn't pan out the way they were supposed to.  And then I realized that NOBODY has all of their decisions pan out the way they expect.  That's what makes life bitter and sweet. That's what makes life worth living---you can never count on the fact that if you do A then B will happen.  That's not how it works.  Call me naive, call me inexperienced, call me immature--whatever.  I truly just figured this out and internalized it and now I've come to terms with it.

So even though I'm $30,000 underwater in my mortgage.  Even though we did what we thought was right.  Even though we've worked hard. Even though....

I'm not going to be angry anymore.  There is nothing we could have done to avoid this problem.  Shit happens (like the housing market blowing up in your face) and you figure out how to roll with it and be happy anyway.

My new normal consists of being incredibly grateful for all of the good stuff I have going on in my life.  My saintly, hardworking, kind, and patient husband, my sweet dogs, my rewarding job, my die hard supportive family, and my wonderfully entertaining and helpful friends.

And my new normal consists of planning to start a family in this little 2 bedroom townhouse next June. 

Little by little we're going to convert a closet to an office, we're going to put in new flooring and re-do the bathrooms and kitchen, and build a new deck.  We're going to get comfortable here.  We're going to stay for as long as we have to.

I am SO grateful that I'm here on this planet and capable of even making those plans.

This is where my head should have been all along but I guess I had to grow up a little to get there.  

Now I'm happy.  Now I'm grateful. And now I'm satisfied.

ps.  On a side note, I know I said in the beginning that I wasn't going to "complain" on here.  Honestly I'm not sure I've been complaining per se but all of my posts haven't been sunshine and rainbows.  I'm ok with that.  If the only thing that all of us puts out into cyberspace is happiness (even faked happiness) when do we get to figure out that we all have trials and tribulations?  When do we figure out how to be supportive of others even when the going gets tough?  We won't.  When we quit recognizing the struggles of those around us I think we lose a piece of our humanity.  We start to lose our capacity for empathy.  When we do that we're in trouble.